Old

Fresh!

Comments

MDA

Livejournal

Profile

Diaryland

I Start Fires!

Lexiroth
Her Rainess
Lizsama
'Cedez
Moonie
Pipey
Timofsky
Motro
Squeeky
Lady Maverick
DM
Shoisies
Chokie

2002-09-10

Piggy's specs were nicked at: 12:59 a.m.

"You know those days where you just want to sit and home, eat corn chips and masturbate? Of course you do."

Sorry about the writing delay. I wonder what prompted it. Fire? Mad eagles? Mad eagles that shit fire? Either way, during my long siesta I sowed my brain with fertile thoughts. Like what the hell is up with Fox McCloud's mouth in Star Fox 64? I'm not referring to his naughty language ("The entire planet of Katina has been exploded into bits." "Dang!") -- I'm talking about his mouth, period. The whole time I watched David play, I was waiting for the top of his head to pop up and down like the lid of a boiling saucepan:

GENERAL PEPPER: "Star Fox, we are in your debt. I would be honoured if you would serve in the Cornerian Army."

FOX: "Sorry General Pepper, but we have to go to Iraq to rescue my kidnapped daughter and save Canada from Sadam's pending invasion!" (Punches Peppy in the head) "Take that, you stupid dick!"

PEPPY: (Slaps Fox) "You're an asshole, Fox!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

FOX: "Did you hear that, Slippy? I just farted!"

SLIPPY: "Really? Just now?"

"AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

(Falco, in a deadly tribute to his clan's swift avian stealth, stabs himself in the eye and the coppery scent of his life's blood mingles with the noxious ass-fumes before anyone notices he's gone.)

All I know is, I'm gonna find a way to copy Fox's signature at the end of the game and use it on a fake ID. I do seriously like the name "Fox." Too bad it has connections to X Files and ... Fox. TV station Fox.

Anyone else like the Indian in the Cupboard books? Yes, I thought it was a wonderful trilogy. Oh wait, look at that, there's a fourth book.

David and I went to the library, you see, the wonderful, magical, 6-storey library near my parents' house. I happened across The Mystery of the Cupboard by total chance. The third and last book in the series offered a nice resolution to the storyline -- so naturally I was pissed off. So pissed off, in fact, that I had to check the book out. And then I was sad, because it was a good book, in itself. Just not at all necessary. Did we really need to know about the cupboard's creation? I was pretty happy with the whole "It's maaaagic" angle. I never demanded anything more. And the book isn't great "read along" material. For one thing, I'd like to see any second grade teacher explain to her garden of innocent, Pokemon-clad children what a "bastard" is. The definition itself, not the insult. And even I found myself turning pages back once in a while, trying to figure out which person's roomate was Omri's uncle's cousin, thrice-removed.

But I still want to read the fifth book. I must retain my pissy mood, and I can only drop so many bricks on my baby toe before it just goes numb.

I made friends with the cat next door, as I mentioned some many entries ago. He'd run up to me and wind himself around me anytime David and I came home from someplace. So a few days ago, he runs up to me all happy and a-mewing. I'd saved a treat for him: a bootlace. I dangled it in front of him, expecting a good show of batting and clawing. The little asshole grabs the bootlace in his mouth and takes off like a panther out of hell. Haven't seen him (or my bootlace) since.