"I'll judge you all and make damn sure that no one judges me."
"I'll judge you all and make damn sure that no one judges me."
I Start Fires! |
2002-08-29
Piggy's specs were nicked at: 12:57 p.m.
If I were a Nintendo employee, this would be on my cubicle wall. Sure, I might incur the wrath of Yamauchi the Hun, but I have a plan. When he runs up to me, snorting and charging, I'll point out how the moon in Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask bears an uncanny likeness to his own hungry-weasel phenotype. If I'm lucky, he'll run off and eat the Zelda R&D. If I'm unlucky, he'll devour me first. But it won't be so bad, I'd have good company in the stomach. And I can ask the Zelda team exactly why a hottie like Kafei would marry that airhead Anju. Oh wait, Yamauchi's retired. Bugger. I'm going to miss him. So ferocious, so merciless. He never played video games, you know. Not even Nintendo's stuff. But he was brilliant. He could so rip off Bill Gates' flesh with his pointy teeth in a sake-induced brawl. More on Critters.org ... I'm starting to think it's largely useless. I appreciate critics nabbing things like nonsensical metaphors (which I hold dear to my bosom. Actually, they just cling there and I can't make them go away), plot holes, spelling, grammar, etc. But I'm getting scattered opinions on everything. "Change this!" "No, it's perfect!" It'd be a different matter if there was a common complaint / piece of praise that every critiquer had, but that's not happening. And then we have the sect of readers who wave their Chick tracts at me after reading Rope Halter ("No! You only get into heaven if you accept Jesus as your Saviour you stupid, stupid heathen! Thus your entire fantasy story is null and void!") MY HEAD EXPLODE!!! It's suggested that all writers make note when they use British spellings in their stories. I did so. Of course, this automatically means I'm British, so I can't use American terms like "mall" or "gas." And more than a few critiquers were happy to go through my story and uselessly pick out every American word and replace it with the British one. Gads, my dad always said that Canada was a mix of Britian and America. He is wise. We have our own little place in the world. Next time I'm just writing down "Canadian spelling" and boggling the masses. Ah, I'll probably stick to Critters. Who knows. It's fun. Speaking of uselessness, I got another story rejection. :( I'm gonna put that particular story on hold and work on something else. Aaaand, my landlord is coming downstairs in a few hours to knock out a wall, so David and I have gotta figure out some cheap place to run away to.
Beast from Water | Beast from Air |