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Diaryland

I Start Fires!

Lexiroth
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2002-07-26

Piggy's specs were nicked at: 6:17 p.m.

As of 4:30 pm on this July 26th, 2002 in the Year of Our Lord, the next sniveling little otaku who gets in my face and tells me that anime rocks in the sad, impotent face of American cartoons gets the length of my foot up their ass.

Beyblades. This is a joke, right? I mean, some twisted Japanese guy made it as a means of a horselaugh. Someone tell me God is really merciful and He'll give me my half hour back? Well, actually, I turned that vat of dreck off after ten minutes, but don't tell God, I can use the half hour because I had to catch five minutes of the end of Medabots.

They couldn't stop at cockfighting monsters. They couldn't stop at cockfighting digital pets. They couldn't stop at mini robots. They couldn't stop at cards. They've done gone and crossed the line with tops.

Yes, now our little spunky, spiky-headed boys and dewy-eyed girls are fighting tops. Of course, you gotta factor a cheap monster in there somewhere or the kids won't come back, so they throw in some shitty art whenever the tops "battle," probably to represent the SPIRIT OF THE TOP or something crackwhorey like that.

Maybe I'm just being mean, but what am I supposed to think when the anime hero roars at his top to "attack!" and the top does?

I'd bitch some more, but I need ice cream.

Briefly, here's something that doesn't suck. If you're a Final Fantasy fan -- especially a fan who hates the fandom -- you'll like it muchly. Who can resist a chorus line of Cids?

I also got a kick out of some of the reviews the movie recieved. "I hate videogames, so I'm giving this movie a 2." Good job. A movie named "Final Fantasy Tribute -- Chocobo Robo" or whatever, and you go in, declare your hatred for video games, and give it a 2. What does one expect with the title? A video of a mechanical Mars bar giving it to a Hershy bar from behind?

Now, about that ice cream...