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Q: "Is it true you friggin' backwards Canadian ice cubes really buy your milk in bags?

A: Yeah! See, bags of milk come in larger bags that hold four hits of milky goodness. Each bag is about 1.5 litres, I think, don't even bother asking me what that is in gallons, that are fun to handle, like cold, dead water babies. You buy a multiple-use container, slip the bag in, cut the corner, and enjoy your universal fluid. 'tis a good value.

We have cartons for the squeamish American tourists who just can't figure out how a bag of milk works. It's confusing at first, I'll admit. And bagged milk has a habit of going bad much faster than its cartoned cousin.

Jugs of milk used to be much more common when I was wee. They still exist, but are exceedingly rare.

Bonus Canadian Milk Fast: "Homoginized Milk" is printed, packaged, and sold as "Homo Milk." Thus the humour in my brother's university's parody of Family Circus, in which Billy is holding a carton of Homo Milk, and Jeffy declares, "Daddy says God hates that flavour of milk.