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Diaryland

I Start Fires!

Lexiroth
Her Rainess
Lizsama
'Cedez
Moonie
Pipey
Timofsky
Motro
Squeeky
Lady Maverick
DM
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Chokie

2002-07-11

Piggy's specs were nicked at: 11:27 p.m.

Today was a day of action at work. But I missed it all.

Apparently, a crazy person was standing in the middle of the parking lot at around seven p.m., screaming obscenities about blacks and Jews. When security arrived and told him to shut up, he huffed, "You can't tell me what to do!" and he ran inside to continue his poisonous spewage. I don't know how it ended. I think he got shot. Ha ha, just kidding. That would certainly be an exciting end to a day.

Our lunchroom has a cute little door that leads to the roof. Since a lot of people like to bust their lungs, the door's usually open for ventilation. Today, as we're all getting ready to leave, a racoon wanders in from the roof like a guest for tea.

I was gone by this time, outside waiting for David to pick me up. But I'm told there was much freaking out in the loft above. I love raccoons. They're massive pains in the ass because they're clever fuckers who can unlock garbage bins. But I have great respect for them because of it.

They also scare the shit out of me up close, because they can be dangerously savage, especially in the city. And there's that whole rabies thing that's hammered into your head when you live in a city with a lot of ravines and parks like Toronto.

It doesn't help that I once saw a rabid raccoon. Blocking the exit to the Canadian Tire store I was working in at the time. And customers were all gathered around this mangy, trembling ball of wet fur while my manager, displaying the precise reason why he never advanced in the Canadian Tire Corps, kicked the thing. Repeatedly.

So, basically, when I see a raccoon, I'm torn between the urge to run up to it and run away from it. I like skunks, though. Skunks are cool. When I bike at night, I see them a lot. I've also come very close to running them over with my bike. But skunks won't bother you as long as you go away. Last time I saw one, idiot that I am, I started to call to it like it was a kitty. Smart.

"Heeeeere Skunky! Squirt me with that cute little anus!"

Once, driving home, my dad and I saw a fox dart across the street. Man, I love foxes. They're magnificent.

Yeah, urban wildlife rocks. Then it RIPS YOUR FACE OFF AND EATS YOUR GARBAGE.