"I'll judge you all and make damn sure that no one judges me."
"I'll judge you all and make damn sure that no one judges me."
I Start Fires! |
2002-07-05
Piggy's specs were nicked at: 1:34 p.m.
(*Shuffles papers, sound booms over microphone*) Good afternoon. Let's start today's entry with some announcements. -- Who turned over the counter to 22222? (Hopes it was Piper so she can get more delicious fanart) -- I got a boggle Stitch. It's sad, but my pity for Chinese slave labour flees quickly when I'm overcome by the urge to be trendy and tell people through a little plastic toy that "I saw Lilo and Stitch!" Now pedestrians will watch Stitch sway on the dashboard of our Jeep, look at each other and smile in approval. Forgive me, little Lin Tai Yu. I CRAVE LOVE!! -- I chased down and smashed a few earwigs last night, and threw them in the toilet. As they drifted in a mire of kleenex, some still kicking feebly, I looked down at them and suddenly realized what God must feel like. Then I flushed. My landspeople have this new game called "Let's throw Nadia and David's mail down the stairs." (By the way, your package arrived Senor Frog. I wear print shirts like skin.) And they play it with a gusto that would shame Harry Potter on his Nimbus 2001. They used to place our mail neatly on the landing. Apparently we're not good enough for that anymore. David accepted a free subscription of the baby-eating Toronto Star, much to my disgust. Worse, he picks out the Comics and leaves the carcass to rot. It's a shameful practice for a man who's more than half Native American. Then again, it's the Toronto Star. I tried to feel remorse, but I can't. But lately, the newspaper is worth reading. The city's outside and inside workers are all on strike. There is literally no one staffing this place anymore. What does it mean? If I don't get gnawed on by a mutant rat and turn into a wererat at the next full moon, I'll probably die from drinking a glass of water. It's not so bad here in Etobicoke because we still get our garbage picked up, but the park garbages are still overflowing and rodent-y. Between the earwigs inside and the Morlock Hole that Toronto is turning into outside, I don't know whether to shit or go blind. At least it's air conditioned in here. Ahhh. One guy I work pointed out that contracting garbage disposal jobs would just be handing money over to the mafia, since they control that sort of thing. I reminded him that unions are controlled by the mafia, too. Score two for shitting or blinding. Been following DBZ's Android / Cell Saga on YTV lately. It's not as inane as I first thought. Part of the reason for my change of heart is Android 17. He's totally decked out in late 80's attire, and he rocks for it. High top sneakers! Toriyama's bane of mankind wears high top sneakers! You can get your ass when Satan and Jesus ride in on their flaming steeds you won't even see a sign of a shoe let alone hightops. Well, maybe Jesus would sport something nifty. I always had this theory that, if Jesus were alive today, he'd be cool. I bet he'd love Fantasy books and Miss Cleo. And rock music. Gotta love rock music. To dislike rock is to spit on life.
Beast from Water | Beast from Air |