"I'll judge you all and make damn sure that no one judges me."
"I'll judge you all and make damn sure that no one judges me."
I Start Fires! |
2002-07-02
Piggy's specs were nicked at: 2:19 p.m.
Eeeeee. Our apartment is overrun with earwigs. I don't mind most bugs, except for centipedes, which I'm terrified of. But I don't like earwigs, see. I don't like them sharing my couch. I don't like them staring at me with way too much interest when I use the toilet. I especially don't like them using my can of Coke as a jungle gym, leading me to come a nanosecond within drinking them. The little buggers are nocturnal, too. They're horrible, they're gross, and quite frankly, they creep me out. I wish we could have a cat. That would fix them really fast. Isn't it funny how most humans are terrified of creepy bugs, but animals will pounce right on 'em and crunch them between their teeth with a look of joy, despite being much smaller to scale? Happy late Canuck Day to all the Canuckers out there! And Lex, I actually pointed out to David that the Canadian flag, if put on its side, looks like a frilled lizard sticking out its tongue. David laughs at our flag, he says it's a gay flag. He also says the unicorn on our Coat of Arms is gay. I said that I'd rather have a unicorn than an eagle representing my country, especially since the eagle on the American Seal is coming at its viewer with its legs spread wide open. He couldn't contest that. Who designed the Seal? Bill Clinton? Ha ha! With wit like that, I'm halfway to becoming a hit talkshow host! (Pens a few tired jokes about the Catholic Church and conqeurs the airwaves.) I was watching the Citizenship Oaths yesterday. One candidate was named "Chun-Li." Shit. If only one of those new citizens deserve to make it at their new life, it's her. Go Chun Li! Lightning kick the face of adversery! You can do it! "I'm sorry Miss Li, but you don't have the skills to qualify for this job--" "SPINNING BIRD KICK!" A pound of watermelon is too much for one girl. Ohhh. Still, nothing says summer like the succulent crack of splitting a melon rind in half. It's the one time of year where you can gorge shamelessly, cold juices dribbling down your chin, smearing on your cheeks, growing sticky on your fingers. God above, I love watermelon. So much better than those loser mainstream strawberries. Garbage garbage, burning bright, in the city of the night. I can stand the smell, just someone open the bloody pool! *sob.*
Beast from Water | Beast from Air |