"I'll judge you all and make damn sure that no one judges me."
"I'll judge you all and make damn sure that no one judges me."
I Start Fires! |
2002-06-25
Piggy's specs were nicked at: 2:45 p.m.
Yesterday, my mom saw me at work and bought me a vanilla Coke. Holy nasty bevarage, Superman. I could stand about two sips of it. I put it in the lunchroom fridge, because that's the fastest way for food to get stolen. I'd feel bad about throwing the Coke out because I hate wasting food, but if someone helps themselves to it, well, oops. Enjoy your hyperglycemia, gentlemen! I've never been a huge fan of sweets. One piece of cake is good enough for me. I used to pass out a lot as a kid, and some doctor told me that it was because of low blood sugar. So maybe that has something to do with it. Aaaah, who cares? I'll never know the joy of a sugar rush. I'll have to get my highs off beer. What a world. "This is my family. I found it. It's small and it's broken, but it's still good. Yes, it's good." David and I saw Lilo and Stitch yesterday. (FANGIRL SERVICE MODE) "I wonder which anime Disney ripped off this time?" Actually, when I first saw the previews, etc., I thought Stitch was Disney's take on Gizmo and I was pretty skeptical about the whole feature. There was nothing to be scared of. Lilo and Stitch is Disney's best feature since Mulan. I can't even remember what came in between Mulan and Lilo and Stitch aside from Pixar's cool stuff, so that shows you what a profound impact modern Disney has made on the animation industry. The important thing about Lilo and Stitch is that it will age well. The humour comes from the fact that the wee duo -- especially Lilo -- are just weird. Stitch is a genetic monstrosity, so he has an excuse for being a strange, strange outcast. But when Lilo immediately leaps on one of her young tormentors and starts biting, kicking and scratching, I knew from that day forward I'd be able to happily tell the "strong-willed" Jasime, Cinderella, and Belle to go fuck themselves and make a nice day of it. You bitches ain't got nothin' on a girl with a doll who's "upset because some bugs laid eggs in her ear and she only has a few days to live." Lines like "Oh good, my dog found the chainsaw" will never grow old, unlike the Genie's pop-culture references in Aladdin, which were funny for the one hour the trends themselves actually existed in. The Arsinio Salute? That's soooooo mid 1990. One thing that seriously impressed me about the movie was the animation. Several reviewers totally miss the point and scream that the animation sux0rs because it's "blurry" and "boring." The backgrounds are watercolour. Studios just don't do that no more. Disney itself hasn't done it for years and years and years. It works very well for the film's Hawaiian atmosphere, even though it makes the sci-fi sequences a litte flat. The sci-fi business is very short lived, however, so it's hardly something worth complaining about. The cast isn't all-star, but the voices are excellent. Kevin McDonald is A-OK by me and most Canadians I know. Not to say a few things about Lilo and Stitch couldn't be tightened. Stitch, being the bastard product of an orgy of beakers and test tubes, is often referred to by fellow aliens as an "abomination." Zzzz. Disney may as well've had smiling staff hand out flyers about the evils of judging to the theatre audience. But that's about it for the movie's cheese. Some think it's kind of silly that a killer monster like Stitch would suddenly grow a heart and want to be a part of a family just by observing Lilo and her sister for a few days, but let's cut the movie a little slack ... this is Disney we're talking about. And Stitch's obsession with The Ugly Duckling is well-placed and touching. Particularily when, in one of his lonlier moments, he encounters a lone duck who looks exactly like the hero of his book. He perks up -- until a harem of ducklings emerge from the weeds and follow their mother, and Stitch is crushed. Poor blue fuzz. Good news ... there's no singing characters. Just some timeless background songs. Better news ... the kids in the audience loved the movie, except for one disgusting little creature who wouldn't stop howling the whole way through. Parents, if your kid is scared to death by a movie, take him out of the damn theatre. But for the most part, the kids were very receptive and flocked to the Disney store to put their sticky mitts all over Stitch plushies. This is a very good sign that Disney got it right for the first time in years. Hunchback of Notre Dame was cool for teenagers, but it scared most kids off their rockers. There were no characters for them to associate with, except for those bloody ugly, boring, cheesy gargoyles. Merchandise for Atlantis also went widely untouched because, again, there was nothing for kids to love. But they all roared through Lilo and Stitch, and the movie is reportedly doing very well at the box office. Lilo and Stitch, by the looks of things, may save Disney from the ruination that waited to gobble them up at the bottom of their years-long fall. It's a movie that doesn't rely on flashy animation, or a choirbook full of sugary songs. It has heart, a lot of heart. Hopefully, Disney's learned a lesson or three, and they'll repeat their success without becoming formulaic. Bah, who am I fooling. All my good feelings and respect for Disney will flee with the inevitable direct-to-video release of Lilo and Stitch 2.
Beast from Water | Beast from Air |