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Diaryland

I Start Fires!

Lexiroth
Her Rainess
Lizsama
'Cedez
Moonie
Pipey
Timofsky
Motro
Squeeky
Lady Maverick
DM
Shoisies
Chokie

2002-05-24

Piggy's specs were nicked at: 2:17 a.m.

"That's a marvelous idea! I'm going to give it top priority!"

Jesse Custer from Preacher once said the problem with today's society is that we have everything. So we go making up problems, finding solutions for 'em, and feeling good about ourselves. Hence disasters like P.C.

Today at work, I tasted those words. I was on washroom patrol for the billionth time in a row. Supposedly, there's supposed to be a list that everyone cycles through, but no one told my supervisors that. Anyway, I'm minding my own business when a woman in a wheelchair zooms up to me.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, what can I do for you?"

She points to the family washroom. "Why doesn't the family washroom have a sign on it that says it's for families and people in wheelchairs?"

"Uh...because it's for people who want to change their babies? There's a wheelchair washroom inside the main washroom."

"Yes, but the family washroom is much bigger and much easier for people in wheelchairs to get around in."

"So, go ahead and use the family washroom. I won't tell on you."

"But there should be a sign."

Jesus above. "You're right. I'll tell customer service and I'm sure they'll get on it right away."

"There's no grab-bar in the family washroom either."

Resist urge to initiate flowchart. "I'll tell customer service. I think it should have one, too."

Finally, she left. Anyone wanna buy the services of a battered writer? 'cause I sure am sick of my current job.

Actually, I have been looking for some freelance jobs, but I might be looking in all the wrong places 'cause I ain't finding any. (Draws a picture of a sun crying blood on a heap of dead people with "SAD" in huge red letters above the stinking mound)

I want Star Fox: Dinosaur Planet. La la la. Why isn't it here yet? Maybe if I smash a few things, it'll get here faster. And continuing yesterday's conversation, I'm looking forward to the new Zelda. I don't understand what's with these multitudes of people who were so sure the GC demo with Link vs. Gannondorf was actual game footage. Er, no. Honestly, if Nintendo stuck with the "mature" Zelda for more than two games, I would've been very surprised. Not to say I wouldn't mind seeing sexay Link ride Epona across the screen again ... I most certainly wouldn't. But something's endearing about the cartoon Link, too. Especially since Miyamoto's changed his eyes, and he looks more like the original Link rather than a zombie trying to stare through my T shirt.

But I'm so sick of seeing, "Nintendo's making a big mistake, they turned Zelda into a total kiddy franchise now." Why?! The series took a more mature turn for maybe two games, and now going back to his roots means it's all for toddlers? Sure, Links Awakening featured characters named "Miss Meow Meow" and "Crazy Tracy." The pinnacle of a mature, tear-jerking cast. Not to put down LA, of course, which was as lovely as a Gameboy game could hope to get. But the Zelda series has always been about a stepped-on elf swinging a glittering sword at things that look vaguely like bulldogs mated with pigs. And that's why I love Link. Leave poor Link alone.

For your amusement, here's a conversation I had on the topic. It went straight to hell and didn't return:

"Whine whine, Link looks like he belongs with the Powerpuff girls. GC Zelda is for kids!"

"Would you let your five year old watch the Power Puff Girls?"

"Power Puff Girls if for 7 year olds."

Zing! I think. Uh, yeah, that kind of stalled, didn't it?

Speaking of Miyamoto, his game ideas get stranger by the year. Like Super Mario Sunshine (a name I've gotten used to much quicker than I originally thought I would) -- Mario must clean up his name, literally, which has been slandered all over town in the form of graffiti. I'd scoff, but Miyamoto's games always work. The stranger they sound, the more brilliant they turn out. So I say puff away, Miyamoto! Just churn out those great games and the next Mario could feature a talking cowpie for all I care.